Today I created a figure. The figure I created is important because she ushers back my creative expression which I have been struggling with. I shall explain:
Although I loved my years at City College, the criticism and judgement that I received from the Art Department about my work created self doubt within me. At first I stood up for my work, creating all sorts of "deep" hidden meanings behind each work, then I gave in and changed my work to be more "artistic" which really meant less colors, less novelty, dont paint the faces on, and most of all, get rid of butterfly wings. I was told that my work was not 'serious' or 'high' art that it was not only low art, but not even art at all, simply craft, or even worst, very kitsch Chachkas. It took me all of this time to realize that outer opinions do not matter. I may have gotten criticized, but it was my reaction to it that really mattered, I allowed it to get to me and created a complex about it. I now know to allow it to dry up, and fall away as I move forward with myself. Self worth is very important, feeling good enough about your art and what you create. It really doesn't matter if you are critically acclaimed or if you are told you will go no where. The only and I really mean ONLY opinion that matters if your own, love your art, approve of your concepts and designs, and you will be satisfied, after all, when you look back at the things you have created, its always best to see the beauty and love you have created that was from your own ideas, not those of others.
That said, check out the girl i made today, she is colorful, and has miniature flowers and all the things I love about making polymer clay people!